I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
