tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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