id be glad to
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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