My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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