So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
