yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
