I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
last night I used snow as a chaser
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize