We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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