You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
