my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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