I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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