I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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