but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
