I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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