How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
