shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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