Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
