It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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