I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
