hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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