worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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