Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
