If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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