what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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