I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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