Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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