im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is the high leading the old right now
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I FOUND THE LEGS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
