Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
