Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
