FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
