whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
