Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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