Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
two words: eviction party
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
