This is not my ceiling
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
