Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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