I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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