It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
