Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
