I puked a lego.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dicks are not precious.
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