Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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