i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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