i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
