she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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