I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
