hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
