So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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