just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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