i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is Oprah even human
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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