he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Pooping to opera.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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