operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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