Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
