dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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