Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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