I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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