The maid of honor just puked.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
