i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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