We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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