did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
3pm strippers are depressing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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