You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Welp...herpes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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