So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
