Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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