By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So vagazzling was a success
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize