1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry