you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
